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THE WOOD
by KEI♱H
LYRICS
{click the album cover to show / hide lyrics}
![Thumb]()
I'm Not The Kind Of Man
KEI♱H
i’ve been watchin’ her
not in a weird way, no
just when she’s not lookin’ in the little spaces
where she forgets the world’s watching
like when she fixes her hair
in the café window reflection
not noticing it’s fogged from the inside
she’s not the loud kind
but everything around her hushes
without her asking
like the world’s got manners
when she walks in
i’m not the kind of man
who asks for anything
just bleed it into paper
into songs no one sings back
but if you did
if you ever did
mm, i’d ruin it all just to keep you
i’d say your name like it wasn’t mine to hold
and still give it everything left in me
you call me friend
and it burns through my ribs
when your hand
lands casual on my arm
like you can’t hear the war
tearing through my chest
every fucking day you make the air heavier
just by walking into it
like you were carved to survive
i’m not the kind of man
who asks for anything
just bleed it into paper
into songs no one sings back
but if you did
if you ever did
mm, i’d ruin everything just to keep you
i’d say your name like it wasn’t mine to hold
and still give it everything left in me
but this—this watching
this limbo of never-was and almost
it’s slow rot
i smile through it like it’s charming
but fuck, man
it’s not it’s not romantic
it’s pathetic
i can’t tell if your mercy saves me
or kills me slower
either way i love you for it
quiet as a shadow
hungry as a wound
standing in the wings of your life
i’m not the kind of man
who asks for anything
i just bleed it into paper into songs
no one will ever sing back
but if you did
if you ever did
mm, i’d ruin everything just to keep you
i’d say your name like it wasn’t mine to hold
and still give it everything left in me
![Thumb]()
Nobody
KEI♱H
i wake up some mornings
thinking about the bus station downtown
those wooden benches groaning under strangers
let my name fade quiet
inside a wallet no one bothers to open (oh…)
i want to be nobody to anyone
just for a while
to see if i’m still here
when i’m not wearing the names they gave me
it’s not that my life is unbearable
that’s the part no one ever sees
i’ve got enough, more than most
but there’s a noise inside me
pointing at a road i passed
and can’t turn back to
i don’t talk about it
most men don’t
we carry it in our lungs
like secondhand smoke
and act like the cough
isn’t telling on us (oh…)
i want to disappear into someone else’s crowd
for a little while
to see if i’m still here
when no one knows who i am
it’s not that my life is unbearable
that’s the part no one ever sees
i’ve got enough, more than most
but there’s a noise inside me
pointing at a road i passed
and can’t turn back to
that’s the confession
i won’t ever do it
but i keep it with me
like a man leaning on a door
he knows will never open (oh…)
it’s not that my life is unbearable
it’s that i can’t stop running that street in my head
like i missed a turn once
and i’m still hoping i can find it again
i’ve built a good house, i’ve filled it with what i can
but there’s a door in me
that keeps swinging open
and i keep looking away
![Thumb]()
Crescent Moon
KEI♱H
I saw you in the break room today
Your coffee cup
A crescent moon I couldn’t land on
Stale air
You don’t belong here
yet here you are
With me, pretending I am calm
I turned away before you saw me see
What was I even looking for?
It’s nothing, nothing
But everything about you
Disarms me in ways I cannot admit aloud
If I could fold this feeling up
Tuck it in a drawer
I’d do it
I’d do it
But here I am
Fumbling with the edges
Pretending not to see
Your earrings mismatched
One a crescent moon
The other just a dot of light
I’m the man they nod to
You’re the one they watch
And I’ll just keep watching
From the far side of the room
Where shadows belong
I turned away before you saw me see
What was I even looking for?
It’s nothing, nothing
But everything about you
Disarms me in ways I cannot admit aloud
If I could fold this feeling up
Tuck it in a drawer
I’d do it
I’d do it
But here I am
Fumbling with the edges
Pretending not to see
Your voice a loose thread in my sleeve
Pulling
Pulling
But I won’t unravel here
Not where the walls have ears
I sit here wondering
What it would’ve felt like
To move through the world
Without that anchor dragging behind me
But everything about you
Disarms me in ways I cannot admit aloud
If I could fold this feeling up
Tuck it in a drawer
I’d do it
I’d do it
But here I am
Fumbling with the edges
Pretending not to see
I watch you leave early
Papers in hand
My chest tightens
I tell myself
It’s nothing
Nothing at all
![Thumb]()
Café By The River
KEI♱H
there’s a café by the river
she walks past the window
cherry blossoms tangled in her hair
i sit there
trying to read the same page twice
but the words twist and tangle
like my hands in my lap
i hear the door chime
she comes in with a quiet fire
not the kind that burns everything down
the kind that warms your hands
and makes you forget the cold
i stay at the table waiting
but you don’t notice me
you leave, like everything i loved
when did i turn into this kind of man
the kind who gets soft in the middle of the day
the coffee’s cold
and i haven’t turned the page
i didn’t expect you to stay in my mind
but you do
like a shard underfoot
it doesn’t cut, just reminds you
it’s there when you bend the wrong way
and there you are again
in that sweater with sleeves too long
a tote bag full of books, probably
or a journal
you only write in when you’re angry
i stay at the table waiting
but you don’t notice me
you leave, like everything i loved
when did i turn into this kind of man
the kind who gets soft in the middle of the day
the coffee’s cold
and i haven’t turned the page
she doesn’t know
i memorize
the shape of her shadow
the way her shoes scuff the floor
how her hair moves
every time she walks past
the coffee shop window
just a man, quietly in awe
glued to his seat
i stay at the table waiting
but you don’t notice me
you leave, like everything i loved
when did i turn into this kind of man
the kind who gets soft in the middle of the day
the coffee’s cold
and i haven’t turned the page
you keep walking
i keep sitting
the blossoms fall
and i never find the words
![Thumb]()
Perfume
KEI♱H
you smiled at me like i wasn’t supposed to notice
that quick, careless kind of smile
people your age hand out without thinking
not because i imagined more than it
you’re not who i thought
in truth
you are more, and i am less
every time i fail to say it
i prepare for you each day
your perfume unsettled me too
lilac — faint, unassuming
but impossible to ignore once it took hold
it lingered
an invisible watermark on the air
i caught myself remembering it
hours after you were gone
like some involuntary tether
you’re not who i thought
there’s weight beneath the shine
like amethyst, when the light cuts just right
i crane my neck, reaching for that flash again
you make me restless
not in the way men brag about
but in the way i catch myself straightening my shoulders
slowing down my words
as if trimming away the years would make them less obvious
i prepare for you each day
your perfume unsettled me too
lilac — faint, unassuming
but impossible to ignore once it took hold
it lingered
an invisible watermark on the air
i caught myself remembering it
hours after you were gone
like some involuntary tether
i don’t know if this is the beginning or an illusion
all i know is that i’ve started to measure time
by when i’ll see you next
i prepare for you each day
ways to break the silence
but when i’m in front of you
i go mute
the man who can charm a crowd
can’t conjure a single phrase
when it’s only you across the table wondering how it’s possible
to feel undone
by perfume and a coquettish grin
![Thumb]()
HATE
KEI♱H
i watch her and it’s stupid how it hits me
the way she moves the way she thinks
small things tiny things
that shouldn’t matter (but they do…)
i replay moments that didn’t matter
making them matter making them ours in my head
i’m exhausted by it by myself
it’s maddening
i hate that i notice everything
and i hate that it hurts
it hurts like my chest is too small for the way you exist
and i hate that i want it
want you all of you
and i can’t touch it can’t say it
so i write it
because that’s the only place it exists safely
and still it consumes me
every glance you throw into a room
even when it’s not at me
feels like gravity pulling me closer
i stand there knowing i’m tethered
to someone untouchable
and i can’t let go
even if i wanted to
catch myself memorizing things
i shouldn’t things that don’t matter
to anyone but me
i’m exhausted by it by myself
it’s maddening
i hate that i notice everything
and i hate that it hurts
it hurts like my chest is too small for the way you exist
and i hate that i want it
want you all of you
and i can’t touch it can’t say it
so i write it
because that’s the only place it exists safely
and still it consumes me
sometimes i catch myself
thinking about things i would never say or do
just to be seen by you
oh
it’s maddening
i hate that it’s like this
that my chest tightens my hands tremble
you move through the world
like fire and shadow
untouchable and i hover around
i hate that i want it
want you all of you
i can’t reach it can’t touch it
i’m like a moth that knows it’d burn
i’m exhausted by it by myself
i am tethered to you in ways i cannot name
i cannot will not stop
![Thumb]()
Crave
KEI♱H
i never learned to ask without taking
never touched without leaving marks
the air between us
thick with the things i can't say
you smell like a crime i want to commit
what’s a man supposed to do
when the air tastes like you (mm-hmm)
i could leave you alone
i should walk away
but i’d rip my shadow from my skin
and you’d still haunt my veins
i crave you still
like a habit i swore off
like hunger with no end
i crave you still (mm…)
you look at me like a loaded gun
and i’m the fool asking to be shot
your skin
a route to every wrong place
your lips
a trigger i keep pressing in my head
what’s a man supposed to do
when the air tastes like you (mm-hmm)
i could leave you alone
i should walk away
but i’d rip my shadow from my skin
and you’d still haunt my veins
i crave you still
like a habit i swore off
like hunger with no end
i crave you still (mm…)
i don’t even know if you’re real
or just the ghost of a choice i didn’t make (mm, yeah..)
i want what i’m not allowed to touch
it’s killing me slow breaking myself
on the edge of your silhouette
i could leave you alone
i should walk away
but i’d rip my shadow from my skin
and you’d still haunt my veins
i crave you still
like a fire under my skin
like the ache i can’t kill
i crave you still
(i crave you still… i crave you still…)
![Thumb]()
THE WOOD
KEI♱H
The wood groans beneath my feet
Every step her shadow moves sweet
Air so thick it burns to breathe
She leaves a trail I can't unsee
A quiet storm dressed up as calm
Eyes like ash, soft and suffocating
Her fingers carve, they write the rules
I’m nothing but a man just standing there
Restraint snaps like branches breaking
Her roots hold tight with every step closer
I surrender the fight
Her hips carve rivers and I drown just the same
Her scent in the embers, a fire in my chest
Her tease like a spark I can’t smother
The wood ignites against my will (mm…)
The wood consumes all of me
The scent of cedar, her skin breathes wild
A forest fire wrapped in something mild
Splinters in my hands, gripping the grain too tight
Wood whispers secrets in the dead of night
A fire waits inside, embers still smoldering
Her scent, rain on bark
Sharp and green, it leaves its mark
Her voice a splinter in my side, I can’t pull out
Restraint snaps like branches breaking
Her roots hold tight with every step closer
I surrender the fight
Her hips carve rivers and I drown just the same
Her scent in the embers, a fire in my chest
Her tease like a spark I can’t smother
The wood ignites against my will (mm…)
The wood consumes all of me
Wood it burns when the heart aches
Standing still, roots won’t let go
Was it the axe or was it the tree?
Was it the wood or was it me?
It creaks, it moans
it knows, it knows (mm...)
Restraint snaps like branches breaking
Her roots hold tight with every step closer
I surrender the fight
Her hips carve rivers and I drown just the same
Her scent in the embers, a fire in my chest
Her tease like a spark I can’t smother
The wood ignites against my will (mm…)
The wood consumes all of me
The wood — it’s all of me
by KEI♱H
LYRICS
{click the album cover to show / hide lyrics}
I'm Not The Kind Of Man
KEI♱H
i’ve been watchin’ her
not in a weird way, no
just when she’s not lookin’ in the little spaces
where she forgets the world’s watching
like when she fixes her hair
in the café window reflection
not noticing it’s fogged from the inside
she’s not the loud kind
but everything around her hushes
without her asking
like the world’s got manners
when she walks in
i’m not the kind of man
who asks for anything
just bleed it into paper
into songs no one sings back
but if you did
if you ever did
mm, i’d ruin it all just to keep you
i’d say your name like it wasn’t mine to hold
and still give it everything left in me
you call me friend
and it burns through my ribs
when your hand
lands casual on my arm
like you can’t hear the war
tearing through my chest
every fucking day you make the air heavier
just by walking into it
like you were carved to survive
i’m not the kind of man
who asks for anything
just bleed it into paper
into songs no one sings back
but if you did
if you ever did
mm, i’d ruin everything just to keep you
i’d say your name like it wasn’t mine to hold
and still give it everything left in me
but this—this watching
this limbo of never-was and almost
it’s slow rot
i smile through it like it’s charming
but fuck, man
it’s not it’s not romantic
it’s pathetic
i can’t tell if your mercy saves me
or kills me slower
either way i love you for it
quiet as a shadow
hungry as a wound
standing in the wings of your life
i’m not the kind of man
who asks for anything
i just bleed it into paper into songs
no one will ever sing back
but if you did
if you ever did
mm, i’d ruin everything just to keep you
i’d say your name like it wasn’t mine to hold
and still give it everything left in me
Nobody
KEI♱H
i wake up some mornings
thinking about the bus station downtown
those wooden benches groaning under strangers
let my name fade quiet
inside a wallet no one bothers to open (oh…)
i want to be nobody to anyone
just for a while
to see if i’m still here
when i’m not wearing the names they gave me
it’s not that my life is unbearable
that’s the part no one ever sees
i’ve got enough, more than most
but there’s a noise inside me
pointing at a road i passed
and can’t turn back to
i don’t talk about it
most men don’t
we carry it in our lungs
like secondhand smoke
and act like the cough
isn’t telling on us (oh…)
i want to disappear into someone else’s crowd
for a little while
to see if i’m still here
when no one knows who i am
it’s not that my life is unbearable
that’s the part no one ever sees
i’ve got enough, more than most
but there’s a noise inside me
pointing at a road i passed
and can’t turn back to
that’s the confession
i won’t ever do it
but i keep it with me
like a man leaning on a door
he knows will never open (oh…)
it’s not that my life is unbearable
it’s that i can’t stop running that street in my head
like i missed a turn once
and i’m still hoping i can find it again
i’ve built a good house, i’ve filled it with what i can
but there’s a door in me
that keeps swinging open
and i keep looking away
Crescent Moon
KEI♱H
I saw you in the break room today
Your coffee cup
A crescent moon I couldn’t land on
Stale air
You don’t belong here
yet here you are
With me, pretending I am calm
I turned away before you saw me see
What was I even looking for?
It’s nothing, nothing
But everything about you
Disarms me in ways I cannot admit aloud
If I could fold this feeling up
Tuck it in a drawer
I’d do it
I’d do it
But here I am
Fumbling with the edges
Pretending not to see
Your earrings mismatched
One a crescent moon
The other just a dot of light
I’m the man they nod to
You’re the one they watch
And I’ll just keep watching
From the far side of the room
Where shadows belong
I turned away before you saw me see
What was I even looking for?
It’s nothing, nothing
But everything about you
Disarms me in ways I cannot admit aloud
If I could fold this feeling up
Tuck it in a drawer
I’d do it
I’d do it
But here I am
Fumbling with the edges
Pretending not to see
Your voice a loose thread in my sleeve
Pulling
Pulling
But I won’t unravel here
Not where the walls have ears
I sit here wondering
What it would’ve felt like
To move through the world
Without that anchor dragging behind me
But everything about you
Disarms me in ways I cannot admit aloud
If I could fold this feeling up
Tuck it in a drawer
I’d do it
I’d do it
But here I am
Fumbling with the edges
Pretending not to see
I watch you leave early
Papers in hand
My chest tightens
I tell myself
It’s nothing
Nothing at all
Café By The River
KEI♱H
there’s a café by the river
she walks past the window
cherry blossoms tangled in her hair
i sit there
trying to read the same page twice
but the words twist and tangle
like my hands in my lap
i hear the door chime
she comes in with a quiet fire
not the kind that burns everything down
the kind that warms your hands
and makes you forget the cold
i stay at the table waiting
but you don’t notice me
you leave, like everything i loved
when did i turn into this kind of man
the kind who gets soft in the middle of the day
the coffee’s cold
and i haven’t turned the page
i didn’t expect you to stay in my mind
but you do
like a shard underfoot
it doesn’t cut, just reminds you
it’s there when you bend the wrong way
and there you are again
in that sweater with sleeves too long
a tote bag full of books, probably
or a journal
you only write in when you’re angry
i stay at the table waiting
but you don’t notice me
you leave, like everything i loved
when did i turn into this kind of man
the kind who gets soft in the middle of the day
the coffee’s cold
and i haven’t turned the page
she doesn’t know
i memorize
the shape of her shadow
the way her shoes scuff the floor
how her hair moves
every time she walks past
the coffee shop window
just a man, quietly in awe
glued to his seat
i stay at the table waiting
but you don’t notice me
you leave, like everything i loved
when did i turn into this kind of man
the kind who gets soft in the middle of the day
the coffee’s cold
and i haven’t turned the page
you keep walking
i keep sitting
the blossoms fall
and i never find the words
Perfume
KEI♱H
you smiled at me like i wasn’t supposed to notice
that quick, careless kind of smile
people your age hand out without thinking
not because i imagined more than it
you’re not who i thought
in truth
you are more, and i am less
every time i fail to say it
i prepare for you each day
your perfume unsettled me too
lilac — faint, unassuming
but impossible to ignore once it took hold
it lingered
an invisible watermark on the air
i caught myself remembering it
hours after you were gone
like some involuntary tether
you’re not who i thought
there’s weight beneath the shine
like amethyst, when the light cuts just right
i crane my neck, reaching for that flash again
you make me restless
not in the way men brag about
but in the way i catch myself straightening my shoulders
slowing down my words
as if trimming away the years would make them less obvious
i prepare for you each day
your perfume unsettled me too
lilac — faint, unassuming
but impossible to ignore once it took hold
it lingered
an invisible watermark on the air
i caught myself remembering it
hours after you were gone
like some involuntary tether
i don’t know if this is the beginning or an illusion
all i know is that i’ve started to measure time
by when i’ll see you next
i prepare for you each day
ways to break the silence
but when i’m in front of you
i go mute
the man who can charm a crowd
can’t conjure a single phrase
when it’s only you across the table wondering how it’s possible
to feel undone
by perfume and a coquettish grin
HATE
KEI♱H
i watch her and it’s stupid how it hits me
the way she moves the way she thinks
small things tiny things
that shouldn’t matter (but they do…)
i replay moments that didn’t matter
making them matter making them ours in my head
i’m exhausted by it by myself
it’s maddening
i hate that i notice everything
and i hate that it hurts
it hurts like my chest is too small for the way you exist
and i hate that i want it
want you all of you
and i can’t touch it can’t say it
so i write it
because that’s the only place it exists safely
and still it consumes me
every glance you throw into a room
even when it’s not at me
feels like gravity pulling me closer
i stand there knowing i’m tethered
to someone untouchable
and i can’t let go
even if i wanted to
catch myself memorizing things
i shouldn’t things that don’t matter
to anyone but me
i’m exhausted by it by myself
it’s maddening
i hate that i notice everything
and i hate that it hurts
it hurts like my chest is too small for the way you exist
and i hate that i want it
want you all of you
and i can’t touch it can’t say it
so i write it
because that’s the only place it exists safely
and still it consumes me
sometimes i catch myself
thinking about things i would never say or do
just to be seen by you
oh
it’s maddening
i hate that it’s like this
that my chest tightens my hands tremble
you move through the world
like fire and shadow
untouchable and i hover around
i hate that i want it
want you all of you
i can’t reach it can’t touch it
i’m like a moth that knows it’d burn
i’m exhausted by it by myself
i am tethered to you in ways i cannot name
i cannot will not stop
Crave
KEI♱H
i never learned to ask without taking
never touched without leaving marks
the air between us
thick with the things i can't say
you smell like a crime i want to commit
what’s a man supposed to do
when the air tastes like you (mm-hmm)
i could leave you alone
i should walk away
but i’d rip my shadow from my skin
and you’d still haunt my veins
i crave you still
like a habit i swore off
like hunger with no end
i crave you still (mm…)
you look at me like a loaded gun
and i’m the fool asking to be shot
your skin
a route to every wrong place
your lips
a trigger i keep pressing in my head
what’s a man supposed to do
when the air tastes like you (mm-hmm)
i could leave you alone
i should walk away
but i’d rip my shadow from my skin
and you’d still haunt my veins
i crave you still
like a habit i swore off
like hunger with no end
i crave you still (mm…)
i don’t even know if you’re real
or just the ghost of a choice i didn’t make (mm, yeah..)
i want what i’m not allowed to touch
it’s killing me slow breaking myself
on the edge of your silhouette
i could leave you alone
i should walk away
but i’d rip my shadow from my skin
and you’d still haunt my veins
i crave you still
like a fire under my skin
like the ache i can’t kill
i crave you still
(i crave you still… i crave you still…)
THE WOOD
KEI♱H
The wood groans beneath my feet
Every step her shadow moves sweet
Air so thick it burns to breathe
She leaves a trail I can't unsee
A quiet storm dressed up as calm
Eyes like ash, soft and suffocating
Her fingers carve, they write the rules
I’m nothing but a man just standing there
Restraint snaps like branches breaking
Her roots hold tight with every step closer
I surrender the fight
Her hips carve rivers and I drown just the same
Her scent in the embers, a fire in my chest
Her tease like a spark I can’t smother
The wood ignites against my will (mm…)
The wood consumes all of me
The scent of cedar, her skin breathes wild
A forest fire wrapped in something mild
Splinters in my hands, gripping the grain too tight
Wood whispers secrets in the dead of night
A fire waits inside, embers still smoldering
Her scent, rain on bark
Sharp and green, it leaves its mark
Her voice a splinter in my side, I can’t pull out
Restraint snaps like branches breaking
Her roots hold tight with every step closer
I surrender the fight
Her hips carve rivers and I drown just the same
Her scent in the embers, a fire in my chest
Her tease like a spark I can’t smother
The wood ignites against my will (mm…)
The wood consumes all of me
Wood it burns when the heart aches
Standing still, roots won’t let go
Was it the axe or was it the tree?
Was it the wood or was it me?
It creaks, it moans
it knows, it knows (mm...)
Restraint snaps like branches breaking
Her roots hold tight with every step closer
I surrender the fight
Her hips carve rivers and I drown just the same
Her scent in the embers, a fire in my chest
Her tease like a spark I can’t smother
The wood ignites against my will (mm…)
The wood consumes all of me
The wood — it’s all of me