I - UNTITLED CODEX

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UNTITLED CODEX
by KEI♱H

LYRICS

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Untitled

KEI♱H

hey let’s try and play the game in a year you still won’t know my name my only goal is to bring the pain let’s go i’m on a roll break your heart crush your soul you were doomed from the start now you know let’s try to save me and you can hate me but if you try to change me i’m afraid it won’t contain me the faster you run the more i get off it’s better for me if you try and talk bite down on the silver in my tongue it tastes like every promise left unsung i’m the noose you wear just for fun let’s go i’m on a roll break your heart crush your soul you were doomed from the start now you know let’s try to save me and you can hate me but if you try to change me i’m afraid so when did it start to be fun to be a masochist and play dumb i don’t want it to be over yeah if i told you all my secrets you’d still be here tomorrow bleeding from the mouth you used to talk say you like it rough say you’d rather rot swear you’d never let me go oh let’s go i’m on a roll you were doomed from the start now you know let’s try to save me and you can hate me but if you try to change me i’m afraid i’ll drag you down with me the faster you run the more i get off it’s better for me if you try and talk the faster you run the more i get off it’s better for me if you just walk off.

Romantic at gunpoint

KEI♱H

it was just a night but i still remember every detail they said i should take her home she could barely stand up i looked at you you nodded yes but it didn’t feel like you meant it yeah took her home but the whole way through i was holding space for you i swore you’d call me back romantic at gunpoint safety on i kept my aim clean my excuses cleaner still bled truth even when i never meant to hurt you pulled the trigger eyes closed didn’t wanna want you didn’t mean for it to show let it happen just enough to lose whatever hand i thought i held driver’s seat engine off found you head down arms tight around knees maybe you dreamed it but i did come back i lifted your head you looked at me like i was late i said “you waited” you just shrugged oh if you only knew the whole way there and back you never left my mind romantic at gunpoint safety on i kept my aim clean my excuses cleaner still bled truth even when i didn’t mean to hurt you pulled the trigger eyes closed didn’t wanna want you didn’t mean for it to show let it unravel more than i meant it to lost the grip i swore i had i could almost let it be real but i never learned how to want without breaking things ’cause if there’s one thing i do well it’s how to hold back at the worst time i wanted you more than anything that’s ever wanted me back romantic at gunpoint safety on but i still don’t trust the wanting you looked at me like you already knew and somehow i stayed i said nothing ’cause wanting you still feels like something i don’t deserve but i’m still staying anyway.

Don't let it kill you

KEI♱H

sometimes it seems like it’s all comin’ down the walls are closin’ in sometimes i feel like there’s no way out like i’m stuck in my head again i know it’s been hard and it seems so unfair but just when you think you’re gonna break don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you they say just keep on workin’ and payin’ your dues someday you’ll win then they dangle the carrot of life you should choose while they pull the strings of your skin i know it’s been hard and it seems so unfair but just when you think you’re gonna break don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you wake up sleep all day drive out to the bay sit in the parking lot listening to billy holiday i guess that i’ve come so far well, i guess that’s how it goes when you try to hang on try to hang on ooh oh oh oh ooh when the times get dark and the road gets long just when you think you’re gonna break don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you don’t let it kill you

I love you, but

KEI♱H

i’d been having daydreams 'bout her for weeks she was walking with him then i saw him holding her bag how’d i let him take her away from me when i was the one she’d wanted? there’s something wrong with me for all the things that i said i didn’t tell her how i felt about her but maybe it’s for the better i hope she never hears this song and figures it was about her 'cause if she did she’d be the one that i ended up with when she told me how she felt about me i just stared at the table the moment i looked up, her chair was empty and i pretended i didn’t care until i couldn't sleep for a week there's something really wrong with me for all the things that i said i didn’t tell her how i felt about her but maybe it’s for the better i hope she never hears this song and figures it was about her 'cause maybe if she did she’d be the one that i ended up with yeah i love you but i can't stop talking to other women i love you but i don't even like myself i love you but i wish i didn’t i love you but you're beautiful i love you but you should find someone better than me yeah, something really wrong with me for all the things that i said i didn’t tell her how i felt about her but maybe it’s for the better hope she never hears this song never figures it was her all along 'cause maybe if she did... she’d be the one that i ended up with and it’s still in my head the words i left unsaid

I'm just a boy

KEI♱H

i remember back then locking my bedroom door turning the music up so no one would knock every word i thought to say already felt like i’d said it wrong if i don’t grow up do i get to stay here i’m just a boy with nothing to prove still finding ways to lose i’m not fine but i’ll fake it all right they don’t see me when i leave at night i’m just a boy they’ll forget they knew so i say, “goodbye” and i go, “oh-oh, oh-oh” i used to think twenty-five was old now i’m past it still feel like the kid who never knew what to say when someone asked how i was doing if i stay this small do i get to be forgiven if i mess this up will anyone care i’m just a boy with nothing to prove still finding ways to lose i’m not fine but i’ll fake it all right they don’t see me when i leave at night i’m just a boy they’ll forget they knew so i say, “goodbye” and i go, “oh-oh, oh-oh” i thought about leaving all the time and how no one would’ve known i don’t think about dying anymore but i think about how close i came if i had something worth staying for i’d like to think i’d stay but the days feel the same length whether i’m here or not sometimes i think about the kid i was and it feels like i stole his life but didn’t make it any better i’m just a boy in a shirt from last week telling myself it’s just a bad streak i’m not fine but i’ll fake it all right sometimes i think about the kid i was and it feels like i stole his life but i'll try my best to make it better so i say, “goodnight” and i go, “oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh."

I should've told you

KEI♱H

what if i'd said something instead of the same thing i always said? me? you sure? i replied thank you for being honest with me just so you know, i think you’re neat too you were in love with me and that’s all i said to you i hate the way you look at me the way that you do 'cause i have to see you every day i think you're starting to see through i still don’t know what to say i should’ve told you i should’ve told you what if i'd been less hesitant less macho and masculine you needed to hear the words you were dying to hear but i held back out of fear instead, i just stood there and looked at you you were in love with me and that’s all i did to you i hate the way you look at me the way that you do 'cause i have to see you every day i think you're starting to see through i still don’t know what to say i should’ve told you i should’ve told you but it all comes out like it’s not real what if you said something to me right now? 'cause this could be the last chance i get to make things right and make sure that i don’t regret if i told you would you still feel the same? i hate the way you look at me the way that you do 'cause i have to see you every day i think you’ve seen through me and i still don’t know what to say i should’ve told you i should’ve told you i should’ve told you i love you…

August knows

KEI♱H

i found her at her rarest form saw her crack once back in july but she swears it was the heat and i was just some passerby shoots down small talk with a look dares you go on, she’ll double it back she left before i could ask her to stay doesn’t fall in love she commits to the bit burns the bridge while you’re still shaking hands august knows she just knows she's got rules for the rules you don’t get to play won’t touch a drink she didn’t pour herself says it’s a quirk you know it’s something else and if you think you’re the first to notice she’ll let you she’ll break your heart and write it down i told her she looked good she laughed in my face all teeth like it’s part of the plan but her voice cracked that gave it away she left before i could ask her to stay doesn’t fall in love burns the bridge while you’re still shaking hands august knows she just knows she's got rules for the rules you don’t get to play won’t touch a drink she didn’t pour herself says it’s a quirk you know it’s something else if you think you could ever touch the real thing she’ll burn the house herself before you ever get close and you swear there’s a heart in there but she resents it turns every crush into a hit-and-run like she’s waiting for the next fool to let her maybe i wanted to be the exception or maybe i’m lying that was never the question yeah you don’t fix what’s already braced for impact she don’t fall she lets things crash august knows she knows i’ve got it bad she’ll draw the gun unload then hand the jammed one if you blink first you’re the fool she’ll outstay her welcome just to prove you wrong and i guess… she’ll kill this song before i can

God, I'm such an idiot!

KEI♱H

i let you linger past the point it made sense pretended the mess was deliberate i had this idea you’d see the better parts of me but some mistakes don’t grow a backbone they just sit in your stomach waiting for the next bad idea to feel familiar and it hit me yeah i’ve been polishing my armor for a fight you’re not in god i’m such an idiot for thinking you’d read between the lines thought i could outplay you like you were a move i could predict for playing at control when i never had it i kept the game running long after you stopped playing i waited an hour then texted “nevermind” said “i was kidding” you said “okay” and that was it i honed it all the joke the shrug as if i didn’t mean every word though i hoped you’d care but kept it cool it’s pathetic yeah standing in the wreck of a game you never played and i never won god i’m such an idiot for thinking you’d read between the lines thought i could outplay you like you were a move i could predict for playing at control when i never had it i kept the game running long after you stopped playing thought i could stay untouched slip by unscarred called it a phase so i could sleep sometimes i still catch myself wondering if i had done things differently as if that absolves me from wanting you back but there’s a fine line between brave and afraid and i crossed it with both hands up god i’m such an idiot setting the fire and calling it strategy breaking my own heart just to say i beat you to it there’s no point system in losing like this but i’ll keep the score anyway god i’m such an idiot and i’d probably do it again god i’m such an idiot i’d probably do it again god i’m such an idiot i’d probably do it again.