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OXFORD COMMA
by KEI♱H
LYRICS
{click the album cover to show / hide lyrics}
![Thumb]()
Fool
KEI♱H
i was gonna ask you to stay
but my words turned into weather, grey
you laughed like it was nothing much
like a clock that forgot to chime
guess i ran out of time
there’s a reason
i don’t say what i mean
but you know what i mean
i don’t wanna be the fool
or the one who lets you fall
didn’t mean to bite my tongue
now i’m watchin’ you walk through the wall
i never told you this
i used to be the serious type
till i learned it never helped
now i just crack a joke
to make sure you never know what i know
there’s a reason
i don’t say what i mean
but you know what i mean
i don’t wanna be the fool
or the one who lets you fall
didn’t mean to bite my tongue
now i’m watchin’ you walk through the wall
and i never really tried
to hold you close at all
there’s a reason
i don’t say what i mean
but you know what i mean
it’s the guilt, yeah
the kind that shows up
when you’re finally happy
and start lookin’ for ways to ruin it
i don’t wanna be the fool
or the one who lets you fall
didn’t say it back in time
now i’m shoutin’ through the hall
i wish you’d come to me
but i’d still bolt the door
even if you wanted more.
![Thumb]()
Almost
KEI♱H
we both stayed late two desks apart
you writing something on a notepad
me pretending i had something better to do
than notice the way you chewed your lip
like you’re afraid of your own words
i wonder if you knew
how bad i wanted to cross that stupid space between us
or if you wanted me to
or if we both lost the nerve at the same exact time
oh
i almost said
but you didn’t ask and i didn’t want to stay
if it meant making you choose
i almost said
but maybe you needed me
to be the thing you could lose
i watched you shrink yourself
sleeves over your hands
like a kid who learned early not to take up space
eyes fixed on a playlist
you weren’t really listening to
like if you kept moving you’d outrun
how lonely it is to always look fine
they always say timing’s a bastard
but i think it’s us
i kept thinking i’d say it when you looked up
but you never did so i never did
oh
i almost said
but you didn’t ask
and i didn’t want to stay
if it meant making you choose
i almost said
but maybe you needed me
to be the thing you could lose
i could’ve been the one
but you needed no one
made it clear
real wasn’t what you were after
i could’ve crossed the line
but you drew it to stop me
so i didn’t
and you didn’t ask me to
oh
i almost said
but what’s the point
when the answer’s sitting
in the way someone avoids your eyes
and that’s the story isn’t it
not the moments we had
but the ones
we left untouched
it’s easy to pretend when nothing’s on the line
harder to admit i was waiting for a sign
i almost said
and i’ve been living around it ever since
![Thumb]()
Always
KEI♱H
"who does your hair?" she asks
like the coworker-friend kind
"do you get it colored?"
i say, "my mom’s a hairdresser
i go to her... every now and then."
she goes, "that’s awesome
your hair looks great."
i say, "thanks"
oh
when she turns to go
i say
"i always thought you were beautiful, you know."
"i didn’t tell you
figured you’d think i was some kind of creep."
but i say that to every girl i can't quite reach
always scared they’ll see through me
think i’m a freak
But that’s not true
that’s not true
that’s not true
oh the truth is
i have always been in love with you
i have always been in love with you
and the truth is
i have always been in love with you
i have always been in love with you
and the truth is
then i ask if she wants to hang out
she says, "i’d love to"
but we’re both too busy
one of those things you say
like “merry christmas”
or “take care”
or “have a good night”
i always wondered why you went out
with those asshole guys
but it's none of my business
i don't want to overstep my bounds
instead i say
“i always thought i was too short for you.”
“you’re tall. like, supermodel tall.”
you shrugged it off,
"But that’s not true."
"that’s not true."
"that’s not true."
oh but the truth is
i have always been in love with you
i have always been in love with you
and the truth is
i have always been in love with you
i have always been in love with you
and the truth is
i have always been.
![Thumb]()
45
KEI♱H
i’ve never written a song before.
wasn’t really my thing
especially not at this age.
but… here it is.
mm, would’ve sworn i was past this kind of feeling
but this is what it looks like
when a man like me falls
for someone who probably just thinks
he’s being kind.
maybe even a little paternal
the kind of man you trust
to walk you to your car.
not the kind you write songs about
and sure as hell not the kind you expect one from.
oh, god forbid she ever finds out
i stay up thinking about her
fix my collar, pass the café
she once called the best in the city
just in case she’s there.
i’m not in love
not yet.
forty-five should be too late
to feel this kind of thing
but it’s headed there. fast.
thought i was past all that.
one day, i watched her talk with her hands.
moves like the words won’t come out right
unless her hands help say them.
bet she doesn’t realize it —
and i pretend not to notice.
it’d be easier if she caught me staring
save me the trouble
of trying to put it into words.
of course, the moment never comes
which is probably for the best.
oh, god forbid she ever finds out
i stay up thinking about her
fix my collar, pass the café
she once called the best in the city
just in case she’s there.
i’m not in love
not yet.
forty-five should be too late
to feel this kind of thing
but it’s headed there. fast.
what am i supposed to do with that?
hell, i’d risk it
i’d ruin it all
just to see what kind of man i still am
when i’m not hiding behind decades
of pretending not needing anyone.
just to be near her
a little longer,
before she disappears
back into a world
where i’m just a decent conversation
with a man old enough to know better.
oh, god forbid she ever finds out
i put on that old record
the one she said she liked
now i can’t hear a single line
without picturing her mouth.
yeah....still don’t talk to her.
too much pride.
too old to be falling for a maybe.
what would i even say?
“hey.
you, uh...
make the days feel different.”
“ah—to hell with this.”
![Thumb]()
Premature
KEI♱H
i watched you walk through the fluorescent spill
of the 24-hour supermarket,
hands in pockets like you weren’t holding something back.
and i thought god, i’ll never get this version of you again.
i was pretending not to notice,
how everything about us already felt like a throwback
premature nostalgia our final religion
and baby, i’ve built an altar out of your “right now”
you’re not gone, but i’m already archiving
clutching the moment like it’s antique china
cracking jokes like elegies in drag
smile lacquered in future grief
falling for moments that are already leaving me
you looked cinematic in that liminal hour
golden, in that decaying, unreliable kind of way
like a sun-stained letter i forgot i sent
i kissed you like a habit, or a psalm
god, we’re gonna call this "the good part"
one day, aren’t we?
i was pretending not to notice,
how everything about us already felt like a throwback
romanticism is a slow death early mourning
and I’m dying in the middle of it
you’re not gone, but i’m already archiving
clutching the moment like it’s antique china
cracking jokes like elegies in drag
smile lacquered in future grief
falling for moments that are already leaving me
this love’s still warm, but browning at the edges
falling for moments that are already leaving me
i grieve in real-time, like a scholar of sorrow
your youth peeling at the corners like old polaroids
and me? i’m curating, annotating your laughter
like it’s already out of print
you’re still here but i’m embalming you sweetly
perfumed with memory, preserved in irony
this isn’t a breakup it’s a preservation ritual
a eulogy dressed as affection
and you you’re the patron saint of slipping away
premature nostalgia our final religion
smiling while my heart rehearses the end ah.
![Thumb]()
Pretty
KEI♱H
you probably forgot me already
but if you ever wonder
yeah. i remember you
you were interesting in a real way
i think about that sometimes
usually late when i should be asleep
i told myself it was just curiosity
but curiosity doesn’t last this long
some part of me just knew
this is how old men lose their shit
the kind of pretty that doesn’t beg for it
just happens in the off-hours
and i’m looking when i shouldn’t be looking
at all
but when you smiled like that
whatever rules i had
didn’t last five seconds around you
i’ve got bottles older than you
and none of ‘em ever cracked me open like this
i should meet your eyes like a grown man
but every time you talk to me
i end up picking at my sleeve
like some kid who doesn’t know
where to put his hands
some part of me just knew
this is how old men lose their shit
the kind of pretty that doesn’t beg for it
just happens in the off-hours
and i’m looking when i shouldn’t be looking
at all
but when you smiled like that
whatever rules i had
didn’t last five seconds around you
you knew what you were doing
leaning too close
whispering something in my ear
i remember the heat of your breath
more than the words
you’re too young to know what that does to a man
and i’m too old to pretend i don’t feel it
it’s alright
i won’t cross the line
i’ll keep my blues where they’ve always been
bottled up and out of your way
but you showed up
and all that went to hell
i don’t think you meant to look at me that long
i didn’t ask about it
didn’t want to sound
like i was looking for a reason to talk
but i was
and i knew it would’ve made you uncomfortable
that’s when i realized
i wanted you more than i wanted to be decent
and that’s why i left
![Thumb]()
August
KEI♱H
i found her at her rarest form
saw her crack once
back in july
but she swears it was the heat
and i was just some passerby
shoots down small talk with a look
dares you
go on, she’ll double it back
she left before i could ask her to stay
doesn’t fall in love
she commits to the bit
burns the bridge while
you’re still shaking hands
oh
august knows. she just knows
she’s got rules for the
rules you don’t get to play
won’t touch a drink she didn’t pour herself
says it’s a quirk
you know it’s something else
and if you think you’re the first to notice
she’ll let you, she’ll break your heart
and write it down
i told her she looked good
she laughed in my face, all teeth
like it’s part of the plan
but her voice cracked
that gave it away
she left before i could ask her to stay
doesn’t fall in love
she commits to the bit
burns the bridge while
you’re still shaking hands
oh
august knows. she just knows
she’s got rules for the rules
you don’t get to play
won’t touch a drink she didn’t pour herself
says it’s a quirk
you know it’s something else
if you think you could ever
touch the real thing
she’ll burn the house herself
before you ever get close
and you swear
there’s a heart in there, but she resents it
turns every crush into a hit-and-run
like she’s waiting for the next fool to let her
maybe i wanted to be the exception
or maybe i’m lying
that was never the question
you don’t fix what’s already braced for impact
she don’t fall
she lets things crash
yeah
august knows. she knows i’ve got it bad
she’ll draw the gun
unload
then hand the jammed one (swore i’d let her)
if you blink first
you’re the fool
she’ll outstay her welcome
just to prove you wrong
and i guess
she’ll kill this song before i can
![Thumb]()
Gunpoint
KEI♱H
oh
it was just a night,
but i still remember every detail
they said i should take her home
she couldn’t walk straight, too far gone
i looked at you. you nodded yes
but it didn’t feel like you meant it
took her home, but the whole way through
i was holding space for you
mm
i swore you’d call me back
i wanted you to more than anything
that’s ever wanted me back
i know i was too careful, too quiet to reach
but i’m still here anyway
oh
romantic at gunpoint, safety on
i kept my aim clean, my excuses cleaner
still bled truth, even when i never meant to hurt you
mm
pulled the trigger, eyes closed
didn’t want to want you didn’t mean for it to show
let it happen just enough
to lose whatever hand i thought i held
driver’s seat engine off. found you head down,
arms tight around knees
mm
maybe you dreamed it, but i did come back
i lifted your head, you looked at me like i was late
i said, you waited
you just shrugged. if you only knew
the whole way there and back,
you never left my mind
thought being there would count for more
but i never learned how to want
without breaking things
and i’m still staying anyway
oh
romantic at gunpoint, safety on
i kept my aim clean, my excuses cleaner
still bled truth even when i didn’t mean to hurt you
mm
pulled the trigger, eyes closed
didn’t want to want you, didn’t mean for it to show
let it unravel more than i meant it to
lost the grip i swore i had
i could almost let it be real
but i’ve learned not to reach for what i can’t protect
and i know that
'cause if there's one thing i do well
it’s how to hold back at the worst time
you didn’t say anything, and neither did i
that was the moment we said too much
ah
romantic at gunpoint, safety on
i want you maybe
but i still don’t trust the wanting
you looked at me like you already knew
and somehow i stayed
i said nothing
'cause wanting you still feels
like something i don’t deserve
but i’m still staying anyway.
by KEI♱H
LYRICS
{click the album cover to show / hide lyrics}
Fool
KEI♱H
i was gonna ask you to stay
but my words turned into weather, grey
you laughed like it was nothing much
like a clock that forgot to chime
guess i ran out of time
there’s a reason
i don’t say what i mean
but you know what i mean
i don’t wanna be the fool
or the one who lets you fall
didn’t mean to bite my tongue
now i’m watchin’ you walk through the wall
i never told you this
i used to be the serious type
till i learned it never helped
now i just crack a joke
to make sure you never know what i know
there’s a reason
i don’t say what i mean
but you know what i mean
i don’t wanna be the fool
or the one who lets you fall
didn’t mean to bite my tongue
now i’m watchin’ you walk through the wall
and i never really tried
to hold you close at all
there’s a reason
i don’t say what i mean
but you know what i mean
it’s the guilt, yeah
the kind that shows up
when you’re finally happy
and start lookin’ for ways to ruin it
i don’t wanna be the fool
or the one who lets you fall
didn’t say it back in time
now i’m shoutin’ through the hall
i wish you’d come to me
but i’d still bolt the door
even if you wanted more.
Almost
KEI♱H
we both stayed late two desks apart
you writing something on a notepad
me pretending i had something better to do
than notice the way you chewed your lip
like you’re afraid of your own words
i wonder if you knew
how bad i wanted to cross that stupid space between us
or if you wanted me to
or if we both lost the nerve at the same exact time
oh
i almost said
but you didn’t ask and i didn’t want to stay
if it meant making you choose
i almost said
but maybe you needed me
to be the thing you could lose
i watched you shrink yourself
sleeves over your hands
like a kid who learned early not to take up space
eyes fixed on a playlist
you weren’t really listening to
like if you kept moving you’d outrun
how lonely it is to always look fine
they always say timing’s a bastard
but i think it’s us
i kept thinking i’d say it when you looked up
but you never did so i never did
oh
i almost said
but you didn’t ask
and i didn’t want to stay
if it meant making you choose
i almost said
but maybe you needed me
to be the thing you could lose
i could’ve been the one
but you needed no one
made it clear
real wasn’t what you were after
i could’ve crossed the line
but you drew it to stop me
so i didn’t
and you didn’t ask me to
oh
i almost said
but what’s the point
when the answer’s sitting
in the way someone avoids your eyes
and that’s the story isn’t it
not the moments we had
but the ones
we left untouched
it’s easy to pretend when nothing’s on the line
harder to admit i was waiting for a sign
i almost said
and i’ve been living around it ever since
Always
KEI♱H
"who does your hair?" she asks
like the coworker-friend kind
"do you get it colored?"
i say, "my mom’s a hairdresser
i go to her... every now and then."
she goes, "that’s awesome
your hair looks great."
i say, "thanks"
oh
when she turns to go
i say
"i always thought you were beautiful, you know."
"i didn’t tell you
figured you’d think i was some kind of creep."
but i say that to every girl i can't quite reach
always scared they’ll see through me
think i’m a freak
But that’s not true
that’s not true
that’s not true
oh the truth is
i have always been in love with you
i have always been in love with you
and the truth is
i have always been in love with you
i have always been in love with you
and the truth is
then i ask if she wants to hang out
she says, "i’d love to"
but we’re both too busy
one of those things you say
like “merry christmas”
or “take care”
or “have a good night”
i always wondered why you went out
with those asshole guys
but it's none of my business
i don't want to overstep my bounds
instead i say
“i always thought i was too short for you.”
“you’re tall. like, supermodel tall.”
you shrugged it off,
"But that’s not true."
"that’s not true."
"that’s not true."
oh but the truth is
i have always been in love with you
i have always been in love with you
and the truth is
i have always been in love with you
i have always been in love with you
and the truth is
i have always been.
45
KEI♱H
i’ve never written a song before.
wasn’t really my thing
especially not at this age.
but… here it is.
mm, would’ve sworn i was past this kind of feeling
but this is what it looks like
when a man like me falls
for someone who probably just thinks
he’s being kind.
maybe even a little paternal
the kind of man you trust
to walk you to your car.
not the kind you write songs about
and sure as hell not the kind you expect one from.
oh, god forbid she ever finds out
i stay up thinking about her
fix my collar, pass the café
she once called the best in the city
just in case she’s there.
i’m not in love
not yet.
forty-five should be too late
to feel this kind of thing
but it’s headed there. fast.
thought i was past all that.
one day, i watched her talk with her hands.
moves like the words won’t come out right
unless her hands help say them.
bet she doesn’t realize it —
and i pretend not to notice.
it’d be easier if she caught me staring
save me the trouble
of trying to put it into words.
of course, the moment never comes
which is probably for the best.
oh, god forbid she ever finds out
i stay up thinking about her
fix my collar, pass the café
she once called the best in the city
just in case she’s there.
i’m not in love
not yet.
forty-five should be too late
to feel this kind of thing
but it’s headed there. fast.
what am i supposed to do with that?
hell, i’d risk it
i’d ruin it all
just to see what kind of man i still am
when i’m not hiding behind decades
of pretending not needing anyone.
just to be near her
a little longer,
before she disappears
back into a world
where i’m just a decent conversation
with a man old enough to know better.
oh, god forbid she ever finds out
i put on that old record
the one she said she liked
now i can’t hear a single line
without picturing her mouth.
yeah....still don’t talk to her.
too much pride.
too old to be falling for a maybe.
what would i even say?
“hey.
you, uh...
make the days feel different.”
“ah—to hell with this.”
Premature
KEI♱H
i watched you walk through the fluorescent spill
of the 24-hour supermarket,
hands in pockets like you weren’t holding something back.
and i thought god, i’ll never get this version of you again.
i was pretending not to notice,
how everything about us already felt like a throwback
premature nostalgia our final religion
and baby, i’ve built an altar out of your “right now”
you’re not gone, but i’m already archiving
clutching the moment like it’s antique china
cracking jokes like elegies in drag
smile lacquered in future grief
falling for moments that are already leaving me
you looked cinematic in that liminal hour
golden, in that decaying, unreliable kind of way
like a sun-stained letter i forgot i sent
i kissed you like a habit, or a psalm
god, we’re gonna call this "the good part"
one day, aren’t we?
i was pretending not to notice,
how everything about us already felt like a throwback
romanticism is a slow death early mourning
and I’m dying in the middle of it
you’re not gone, but i’m already archiving
clutching the moment like it’s antique china
cracking jokes like elegies in drag
smile lacquered in future grief
falling for moments that are already leaving me
this love’s still warm, but browning at the edges
falling for moments that are already leaving me
i grieve in real-time, like a scholar of sorrow
your youth peeling at the corners like old polaroids
and me? i’m curating, annotating your laughter
like it’s already out of print
you’re still here but i’m embalming you sweetly
perfumed with memory, preserved in irony
this isn’t a breakup it’s a preservation ritual
a eulogy dressed as affection
and you you’re the patron saint of slipping away
premature nostalgia our final religion
smiling while my heart rehearses the end ah.
Pretty
KEI♱H
you probably forgot me already
but if you ever wonder
yeah. i remember you
you were interesting in a real way
i think about that sometimes
usually late when i should be asleep
i told myself it was just curiosity
but curiosity doesn’t last this long
some part of me just knew
this is how old men lose their shit
the kind of pretty that doesn’t beg for it
just happens in the off-hours
and i’m looking when i shouldn’t be looking
at all
but when you smiled like that
whatever rules i had
didn’t last five seconds around you
i’ve got bottles older than you
and none of ‘em ever cracked me open like this
i should meet your eyes like a grown man
but every time you talk to me
i end up picking at my sleeve
like some kid who doesn’t know
where to put his hands
some part of me just knew
this is how old men lose their shit
the kind of pretty that doesn’t beg for it
just happens in the off-hours
and i’m looking when i shouldn’t be looking
at all
but when you smiled like that
whatever rules i had
didn’t last five seconds around you
you knew what you were doing
leaning too close
whispering something in my ear
i remember the heat of your breath
more than the words
you’re too young to know what that does to a man
and i’m too old to pretend i don’t feel it
it’s alright
i won’t cross the line
i’ll keep my blues where they’ve always been
bottled up and out of your way
but you showed up
and all that went to hell
i don’t think you meant to look at me that long
i didn’t ask about it
didn’t want to sound
like i was looking for a reason to talk
but i was
and i knew it would’ve made you uncomfortable
that’s when i realized
i wanted you more than i wanted to be decent
and that’s why i left
August
KEI♱H
i found her at her rarest form
saw her crack once
back in july
but she swears it was the heat
and i was just some passerby
shoots down small talk with a look
dares you
go on, she’ll double it back
she left before i could ask her to stay
doesn’t fall in love
she commits to the bit
burns the bridge while
you’re still shaking hands
oh
august knows. she just knows
she’s got rules for the
rules you don’t get to play
won’t touch a drink she didn’t pour herself
says it’s a quirk
you know it’s something else
and if you think you’re the first to notice
she’ll let you, she’ll break your heart
and write it down
i told her she looked good
she laughed in my face, all teeth
like it’s part of the plan
but her voice cracked
that gave it away
she left before i could ask her to stay
doesn’t fall in love
she commits to the bit
burns the bridge while
you’re still shaking hands
oh
august knows. she just knows
she’s got rules for the rules
you don’t get to play
won’t touch a drink she didn’t pour herself
says it’s a quirk
you know it’s something else
if you think you could ever
touch the real thing
she’ll burn the house herself
before you ever get close
and you swear
there’s a heart in there, but she resents it
turns every crush into a hit-and-run
like she’s waiting for the next fool to let her
maybe i wanted to be the exception
or maybe i’m lying
that was never the question
you don’t fix what’s already braced for impact
she don’t fall
she lets things crash
yeah
august knows. she knows i’ve got it bad
she’ll draw the gun
unload
then hand the jammed one (swore i’d let her)
if you blink first
you’re the fool
she’ll outstay her welcome
just to prove you wrong
and i guess
she’ll kill this song before i can
Gunpoint
KEI♱H
oh
it was just a night,
but i still remember every detail
they said i should take her home
she couldn’t walk straight, too far gone
i looked at you. you nodded yes
but it didn’t feel like you meant it
took her home, but the whole way through
i was holding space for you
mm
i swore you’d call me back
i wanted you to more than anything
that’s ever wanted me back
i know i was too careful, too quiet to reach
but i’m still here anyway
oh
romantic at gunpoint, safety on
i kept my aim clean, my excuses cleaner
still bled truth, even when i never meant to hurt you
mm
pulled the trigger, eyes closed
didn’t want to want you didn’t mean for it to show
let it happen just enough
to lose whatever hand i thought i held
driver’s seat engine off. found you head down,
arms tight around knees
mm
maybe you dreamed it, but i did come back
i lifted your head, you looked at me like i was late
i said, you waited
you just shrugged. if you only knew
the whole way there and back,
you never left my mind
thought being there would count for more
but i never learned how to want
without breaking things
and i’m still staying anyway
oh
romantic at gunpoint, safety on
i kept my aim clean, my excuses cleaner
still bled truth even when i didn’t mean to hurt you
mm
pulled the trigger, eyes closed
didn’t want to want you, didn’t mean for it to show
let it unravel more than i meant it to
lost the grip i swore i had
i could almost let it be real
but i’ve learned not to reach for what i can’t protect
and i know that
'cause if there's one thing i do well
it’s how to hold back at the worst time
you didn’t say anything, and neither did i
that was the moment we said too much
ah
romantic at gunpoint, safety on
i want you maybe
but i still don’t trust the wanting
you looked at me like you already knew
and somehow i stayed
i said nothing
'cause wanting you still feels
like something i don’t deserve
but i’m still staying anyway.