written by delikately
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LYRICS
click the ⛶ album cover to show / hide lyrics
![Thumb]()
she showed up barefoot
by delikately
mm, she showed up barefoot, dragging the stars
like they were last week’s laundry
still damp, tangled with receipts and lint
and a sock that wasn’t hers.
oh, “you afraid of being too much?” she asked,
lighting a cigarette off a comet.
“or not enough to be remembered?”
oh, she said, “names are just promises we break on instinct.”
then carved hers on my window with a ring.
mm, i asked if she believed in god.
she said, “no, but i believe in leaving.”
ah, and left.
ah, i told her i write songs
like i’m apologizing for being awake.
she laughed so hard
a jukebox bled in the corner.
mm, “baby,” she said
“they only clap when you bleed pretty.”
oh, she said, “names are just promises we break on instinct.”
then carved hers on my window with a ring.
mm, i asked if she believed in god.
she said, “no, but i believe in leaving.”
ah, and left.
mm, then she kissed my forehead,
left ash on my shouldertore a hole in the sky
and vanished like a one-hit wonder
that should’ve been a prophecy.
oh, i woke up humming something
i’ve never written
ah, but it knew my name.
![Thumb]()
in lieu of a healthier coping mechanism
by delikately
oh
i took the scenic route to avoidance,
mislabelled grief as apathy.
i stayed long enough to realize
i wasn’t staying for you
just the version of me
who still thought you might change.
mm rip to her, i guess.
no, i’m not healed
i’m just really articulate at sounding like i’m not the hypocrite.
just fluent in denial,but make it sound grown.
i scrubbed the counter like i could undo the night.
didn’t cry. didn’t text.
just rearranged the knives.
mm
this is just what happens when i run out of better habits.
ah
didn’t need a reason. just something.
in lieu of a healthier coping mechanism
i said nothing. i said this. same thing.
oh
you always paused before saying you cared,
like it had to be fact-checked.
scripted my detachment in couplets of cynicism.
didn’t spiral just paced with intent.
didn’t vent just c...c’d my therapist.
no, i’m not healed
i’m just really articulate at playing sane.
it’s convincing, i know.
oh
i redid the spice rack by frequency of use, not taste.
didn’t cry. didn’t call.
just kept my hands moving.
thought about texting then rearranged the salt.
ah
didn’t need a reason. just something.
in lieu of a healthier coping mechanism
no, i didn’t miss you
i missed having the upper hand.
hindsight in 4k
i just rewatched it on mute.
told my therapist,
"i’m processing."
she asked, "how’s that going?"
i said, "depends on the playlist
and how much i’m pretending to sleep."
i defrosted the freezer like i was making room for clarity.
didn’t cry. didn’t call. just chipped away in silence.
mm
this is what it looks like when i confuse order with progress.
ah
didn’t call it coping. didn’t call it anything.
in lieu of a healthier coping mechanism
i said nothing. i said this. same thing.
mm no, i’m fine.
i mean close enough.
if i’m still not over it
well, art forgives what i won’t admit.
![Thumb]()
no, i’m not over it
by delikately
you always showed up early.
i’d still be brushing my teeth oh.
pretending i didn’t hear the door.
you sat on the floor while i got dressed
commented on my socks like that counted as foreplay.
mm.
i never asked why you stayed so long.
you never asked why i always looked like i was leaving.
i told you i don’t cry easy
you believed me, which felt unfair.
no, i’m not over it, but thanks for asking.
i still eat dinner standing up,
like i’m waiting for someone to knock.
you weren’t the love of my life,
just the first person i didn’t know how to talk to
once i stopped pretending. ah.
i still pause at your old ringtone,
even though i changed it months ago.
not sure what i’m expecting
maybe you found a sock of mine
and decided i was worth returning. ha.
someone asked if i still talk to you.
i said, “not really.”
which was technically true.
you left first
but i held the door. mm.
i told you i don’t cry easy
and you believed me.
i think i did too, for a while. oh.
no, i’m not over it, but thanks for asking.
i still eat dinner standing up,
like i’m waiting for someone to knock.
you weren’t the love of my life,
just the first person i didn’t know how to talk to
once i stopped pretending. ah.
you just had to be there
but you were.
mm,
even when i threw things, shut down,
went three days without saying i loved you.
you were always there,
saying nothing, staying anyway.
you made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world
like i could be hard to love and still get loved.
which, i guess, was nice
at the time.
no, i’m not over it, but thanks for asking.
i still eat dinner standing up,
like i’m waiting for someone to knock.
you weren’t the love of my life,
just the first person i didn’t know how to talk to
once i stopped pretending.
no,
i’m not over it.
but you never really asked.
![Thumb]()
let the record show i was chill
by delikately
mm yeah
your voice still triggered dormant instincts
like a fire alarm i trained myself to ignore.
i evolved past men like you
then doubled back
sometimes just to feel the pattern hold
to test if the pain still recognizes you
maybe regression is a kink
for people who think too much
so i relapsed. for research.
huh
let the record show
i was chill
i did not react
i responded
hm
with taste
with restraint
with just enough ruin to be timeless.
“chill… chill… chill…”
“ruin / ruin / ruin”
“just enough / just enough”
“mm ”
i took the high road, mostly for the view
waved at your new girl told her good luck with the guessing games
you called it complicated
no
you just stalled
‘til it wasn’t your fault for me to leave first.
i mistake tension for compatibility
or maybe i just wanted to see
if i could out-intellectualize instinct
anyway that wasn’t the important part.
next question
let the record show
i didn’t raise my voice
i raised the standard
i wasn’t in love
i was in character
let that sink in
or don’t
you don’t get access just because you had it.
mm
“i was I was I was…"
“access / access”
“standard… standard…”
“hm ”
i’ve studied the species
i know this kind of man:
gives just enough to feel wanted
withholds just enough to stay needed
mistakes distance for depth
mistakes me for someone who waits.
let the record show:
i didn’t lose my cool
let the record show:
i was calm
i was careful
i kept the peace
because i knew what war would cost me.
“cool / cool / cool…”
“i was I was I was…”
“let the record… let the record…”
“ah ”
let the record show:
i was still
i was quiet
i was done before you noticed.
![Thumb]()
romantic at gunpoint
by delikately
oh,
it was just a night, but i still remember every detail.
they said you'd take her home
she was too drunk to stand.
you looked at me. i nodded yes.
but i meant don’t. i meant stay.
then you disappeared and i let it happen.
mm, i swore you’d turn around.
i wanted you to
more than anything that’s ever wanted me back.
i know it’s reckless, but i’m aiming anyway.
oh,
romantic at gunpoint, safety on.
i kept my aim clean, my excuses cleaner.
still bled truth, even when i’d wounded myself first.
mm, pulled the trigger, eyes closed.
didn’t want to want you, didn’t mean for it to show.
let it happen just enough
to lose whatever hand i thought i had.
curbside. head down, arms tight around knees.
mm,
maybe i dreamed it your footsteps back.
you lifted my head like weight was optional.
said, "you waited."
i shrugged, like it was nothing.
like i hadn’t waited all night.
thought i could stay sharp,
but you made me soft in the stupidest places.
and i’m still aiming anyway.
oh,
romantic at gunpoint, safety on.
i kept my aim clean, my excuses cleaner.
still bled truth, even when i’d wounded myself first.
mm, pulled the trigger, eyes closed.
didn’t want to want you, didn’t mean for it to show.
let it unravel more than i planned,
losing the grip i thought i had.
i could almost feel something real.
but if i let it all the way in, i’ll destroy it.
and i know that.
'cause if there's one thing i do well,
it’s staying quiet at the exact wrong moment.
you didn’t say anything, and neither did i.
that was the moment we said too much.
romantic at gunpoint, safety on.
i want you maybe.
but i still don’t trust the wanting.
you looked at me like you already knew.
and somehow, you stayed.
i said nothing,
because silence felt safer than saying too much.
but i’m still aiming anyway.
![Thumb]()
nothing personal (just every word you said)
by delikately
ah ah
we were on your couch. that felt like a setup
you said
“don’t take this the wrong way
i’m just not in the right place right now.”
huh
there wasn’t a right one
you needed space
and someone to decorate it.
ah ha
nothing stuck but your tone when you left
you never raised your voice, just your defenses
i’m not bitter
i just memorize well
it’s nothing personal
just every word you said.
and if you ever wonder what went wrong
i’ll quote you.
line by line by line
mm
line by line by line
by la
we were in your car. that felt like a trap
you said
“don’t overthink this.”
too late already did.
“she’s just a friend.”
“why are you acting like this?”
huh
then why’d she know about me
but not the other way around?
ah ha
nothing hurts, just the way you said
we were better as friends
then made sure we never spoke again
you asked if i was okay
while handing me the end of it
it’s nothing personal
just every word you said.
and if you ever wonder what went wrong
i’ll quote you.
again and again and again
mm
again and again and again
and ah
“if this hurts you, i’m sorry.”
“but i needed to be honest.”
“you’ll understand one day.”
“i wish things were different.”
“i hope we can still be cool.”
don’t worry
i’m not mad
it’s nothing personal
just
it’s nothing personal
just the way you said "forever"
and meant "for now"
it’s nothing personal
but i remember it all somehow.
and if you ever wonder what went wrong,
ill quote you
again and again and again.
![Thumb]()
drama club dropout
by delikately
oh
i quit today
didn’t announce it
just… stopped replying to the group chat
huh
told myself it was self-preservation
but really i just couldn’t stand
performing sincerity for free anymore
stand stage left
tilt chin
say the thing like you mean it
even if your throat feels like it’s closing
mm-hmm
drama club dropout
but the show goes on
even when no one’s watching
mm
they said i was a natural
naturally unraveling
huh
i didn’t forget my lines
i just don’t believe them anymore
oh
i learned how to take up space
without being seen
how to deliver a breakdown
at an appropriate volume
huh
they said i was “believable”
cool
i lied well
should’ve put that on the résumé
expert at becoming the girl you root for
right before she dies
mm-hmm
drama club dropout
but the drama won’t leave
still wait for the blackout
still brace for applause
ah
they said i was unforgettable
but no one called
huh
didn’t forget my lines
i just started choking on them
i said i didn’t care
i said i was over it
i said “it’s just high school theatre”
but i watched them do the table read without me and
i felt like my teeth were falling out
like i missed a funeral for someone who isn’t dead yet
which is maybe just my way of saying
i wanted them to be sad i left
but also i’d hate them if they were
oh-oh
drama club dropout
but the audience lingers
i still bow in dreams
still wait for applause
that doesn’t come
they said i was unforgettable
but no one’s called
guess i was only brilliant
when lit just right
i quit because i could
too well
like dangerously well
like, one day i’d forget i was pretending
and just disappear inside the role
of “girl who takes it all with a smile”
LYRICS
click the ⛶ album cover to show / hide lyrics
she showed up barefoot
by delikately
mm, she showed up barefoot, dragging the stars
like they were last week’s laundry
still damp, tangled with receipts and lint
and a sock that wasn’t hers.
oh, “you afraid of being too much?” she asked,
lighting a cigarette off a comet.
“or not enough to be remembered?”
oh, she said, “names are just promises we break on instinct.”
then carved hers on my window with a ring.
mm, i asked if she believed in god.
she said, “no, but i believe in leaving.”
ah, and left.
ah, i told her i write songs
like i’m apologizing for being awake.
she laughed so hard
a jukebox bled in the corner.
mm, “baby,” she said
“they only clap when you bleed pretty.”
oh, she said, “names are just promises we break on instinct.”
then carved hers on my window with a ring.
mm, i asked if she believed in god.
she said, “no, but i believe in leaving.”
ah, and left.
mm, then she kissed my forehead,
left ash on my shouldertore a hole in the sky
and vanished like a one-hit wonder
that should’ve been a prophecy.
oh, i woke up humming something
i’ve never written
ah, but it knew my name.
in lieu of a healthier coping mechanism
by delikately
oh
i took the scenic route to avoidance,
mislabelled grief as apathy.
i stayed long enough to realize
i wasn’t staying for you
just the version of me
who still thought you might change.
mm rip to her, i guess.
no, i’m not healed
i’m just really articulate at sounding like i’m not the hypocrite.
just fluent in denial,but make it sound grown.
i scrubbed the counter like i could undo the night.
didn’t cry. didn’t text.
just rearranged the knives.
mm
this is just what happens when i run out of better habits.
ah
didn’t need a reason. just something.
in lieu of a healthier coping mechanism
i said nothing. i said this. same thing.
oh
you always paused before saying you cared,
like it had to be fact-checked.
scripted my detachment in couplets of cynicism.
didn’t spiral just paced with intent.
didn’t vent just c...c’d my therapist.
no, i’m not healed
i’m just really articulate at playing sane.
it’s convincing, i know.
oh
i redid the spice rack by frequency of use, not taste.
didn’t cry. didn’t call.
just kept my hands moving.
thought about texting then rearranged the salt.
ah
didn’t need a reason. just something.
in lieu of a healthier coping mechanism
no, i didn’t miss you
i missed having the upper hand.
hindsight in 4k
i just rewatched it on mute.
told my therapist,
"i’m processing."
she asked, "how’s that going?"
i said, "depends on the playlist
and how much i’m pretending to sleep."
i defrosted the freezer like i was making room for clarity.
didn’t cry. didn’t call. just chipped away in silence.
mm
this is what it looks like when i confuse order with progress.
ah
didn’t call it coping. didn’t call it anything.
in lieu of a healthier coping mechanism
i said nothing. i said this. same thing.
mm no, i’m fine.
i mean close enough.
if i’m still not over it
well, art forgives what i won’t admit.
no, i’m not over it
by delikately
you always showed up early.
i’d still be brushing my teeth oh.
pretending i didn’t hear the door.
you sat on the floor while i got dressed
commented on my socks like that counted as foreplay.
mm.
i never asked why you stayed so long.
you never asked why i always looked like i was leaving.
i told you i don’t cry easy
you believed me, which felt unfair.
no, i’m not over it, but thanks for asking.
i still eat dinner standing up,
like i’m waiting for someone to knock.
you weren’t the love of my life,
just the first person i didn’t know how to talk to
once i stopped pretending. ah.
i still pause at your old ringtone,
even though i changed it months ago.
not sure what i’m expecting
maybe you found a sock of mine
and decided i was worth returning. ha.
someone asked if i still talk to you.
i said, “not really.”
which was technically true.
you left first
but i held the door. mm.
i told you i don’t cry easy
and you believed me.
i think i did too, for a while. oh.
no, i’m not over it, but thanks for asking.
i still eat dinner standing up,
like i’m waiting for someone to knock.
you weren’t the love of my life,
just the first person i didn’t know how to talk to
once i stopped pretending. ah.
you just had to be there
but you were.
mm,
even when i threw things, shut down,
went three days without saying i loved you.
you were always there,
saying nothing, staying anyway.
you made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world
like i could be hard to love and still get loved.
which, i guess, was nice
at the time.
no, i’m not over it, but thanks for asking.
i still eat dinner standing up,
like i’m waiting for someone to knock.
you weren’t the love of my life,
just the first person i didn’t know how to talk to
once i stopped pretending.
no,
i’m not over it.
but you never really asked.
let the record show i was chill
by delikately
mm yeah
your voice still triggered dormant instincts
like a fire alarm i trained myself to ignore.
i evolved past men like you
then doubled back
sometimes just to feel the pattern hold
to test if the pain still recognizes you
maybe regression is a kink
for people who think too much
so i relapsed. for research.
huh
let the record show
i was chill
i did not react
i responded
hm
with taste
with restraint
with just enough ruin to be timeless.
“chill… chill… chill…”
“ruin / ruin / ruin”
“just enough / just enough”
“mm ”
i took the high road, mostly for the view
waved at your new girl told her good luck with the guessing games
you called it complicated
no
you just stalled
‘til it wasn’t your fault for me to leave first.
i mistake tension for compatibility
or maybe i just wanted to see
if i could out-intellectualize instinct
anyway that wasn’t the important part.
next question
let the record show
i didn’t raise my voice
i raised the standard
i wasn’t in love
i was in character
let that sink in
or don’t
you don’t get access just because you had it.
mm
“i was I was I was…"
“access / access”
“standard… standard…”
“hm ”
i’ve studied the species
i know this kind of man:
gives just enough to feel wanted
withholds just enough to stay needed
mistakes distance for depth
mistakes me for someone who waits.
let the record show:
i didn’t lose my cool
let the record show:
i was calm
i was careful
i kept the peace
because i knew what war would cost me.
“cool / cool / cool…”
“i was I was I was…”
“let the record… let the record…”
“ah ”
let the record show:
i was still
i was quiet
i was done before you noticed.
romantic at gunpoint
by delikately
oh,
it was just a night, but i still remember every detail.
they said you'd take her home
she was too drunk to stand.
you looked at me. i nodded yes.
but i meant don’t. i meant stay.
then you disappeared and i let it happen.
mm, i swore you’d turn around.
i wanted you to
more than anything that’s ever wanted me back.
i know it’s reckless, but i’m aiming anyway.
oh,
romantic at gunpoint, safety on.
i kept my aim clean, my excuses cleaner.
still bled truth, even when i’d wounded myself first.
mm, pulled the trigger, eyes closed.
didn’t want to want you, didn’t mean for it to show.
let it happen just enough
to lose whatever hand i thought i had.
curbside. head down, arms tight around knees.
mm,
maybe i dreamed it your footsteps back.
you lifted my head like weight was optional.
said, "you waited."
i shrugged, like it was nothing.
like i hadn’t waited all night.
thought i could stay sharp,
but you made me soft in the stupidest places.
and i’m still aiming anyway.
oh,
romantic at gunpoint, safety on.
i kept my aim clean, my excuses cleaner.
still bled truth, even when i’d wounded myself first.
mm, pulled the trigger, eyes closed.
didn’t want to want you, didn’t mean for it to show.
let it unravel more than i planned,
losing the grip i thought i had.
i could almost feel something real.
but if i let it all the way in, i’ll destroy it.
and i know that.
'cause if there's one thing i do well,
it’s staying quiet at the exact wrong moment.
you didn’t say anything, and neither did i.
that was the moment we said too much.
romantic at gunpoint, safety on.
i want you maybe.
but i still don’t trust the wanting.
you looked at me like you already knew.
and somehow, you stayed.
i said nothing,
because silence felt safer than saying too much.
but i’m still aiming anyway.
nothing personal (just every word you said)
by delikately
ah ah
we were on your couch. that felt like a setup
you said
“don’t take this the wrong way
i’m just not in the right place right now.”
huh
there wasn’t a right one
you needed space
and someone to decorate it.
ah ha
nothing stuck but your tone when you left
you never raised your voice, just your defenses
i’m not bitter
i just memorize well
it’s nothing personal
just every word you said.
and if you ever wonder what went wrong
i’ll quote you.
line by line by line
mm
line by line by line
by la
we were in your car. that felt like a trap
you said
“don’t overthink this.”
too late already did.
“she’s just a friend.”
“why are you acting like this?”
huh
then why’d she know about me
but not the other way around?
ah ha
nothing hurts, just the way you said
we were better as friends
then made sure we never spoke again
you asked if i was okay
while handing me the end of it
it’s nothing personal
just every word you said.
and if you ever wonder what went wrong
i’ll quote you.
again and again and again
mm
again and again and again
and ah
“if this hurts you, i’m sorry.”
“but i needed to be honest.”
“you’ll understand one day.”
“i wish things were different.”
“i hope we can still be cool.”
don’t worry
i’m not mad
it’s nothing personal
just
it’s nothing personal
just the way you said "forever"
and meant "for now"
it’s nothing personal
but i remember it all somehow.
and if you ever wonder what went wrong,
ill quote you
again and again and again.
drama club dropout
by delikately
oh
i quit today
didn’t announce it
just… stopped replying to the group chat
huh
told myself it was self-preservation
but really i just couldn’t stand
performing sincerity for free anymore
stand stage left
tilt chin
say the thing like you mean it
even if your throat feels like it’s closing
mm-hmm
drama club dropout
but the show goes on
even when no one’s watching
mm
they said i was a natural
naturally unraveling
huh
i didn’t forget my lines
i just don’t believe them anymore
oh
i learned how to take up space
without being seen
how to deliver a breakdown
at an appropriate volume
huh
they said i was “believable”
cool
i lied well
should’ve put that on the résumé
expert at becoming the girl you root for
right before she dies
mm-hmm
drama club dropout
but the drama won’t leave
still wait for the blackout
still brace for applause
ah
they said i was unforgettable
but no one called
huh
didn’t forget my lines
i just started choking on them
i said i didn’t care
i said i was over it
i said “it’s just high school theatre”
but i watched them do the table read without me and
i felt like my teeth were falling out
like i missed a funeral for someone who isn’t dead yet
which is maybe just my way of saying
i wanted them to be sad i left
but also i’d hate them if they were
oh-oh
drama club dropout
but the audience lingers
i still bow in dreams
still wait for applause
that doesn’t come
they said i was unforgettable
but no one’s called
guess i was only brilliant
when lit just right
i quit because i could
too well
like dangerously well
like, one day i’d forget i was pretending
and just disappear inside the role
of “girl who takes it all with a smile”